Finding Your Family Rhythm
What is rhythm?
In music, we think about rhythm in terms of the beat of the music. The rhythm section of a band holds the tempo so that solo instruments can have the freedom to stretch and experiment with time and tonality. The soloist can go as far as they like and know that they have the stability of the rhythm section to rejoin when they are done. It gives the listener something to hold on to as well - no matter how wild an improvisation gets, the ear can always return to the steadfast rhythm to get their bearings. Rhythm doesn’t have to be typical or boring. There are more traditional rhythms like marches or waltzes, and there are far more complex rhythms found in jazz or contemporary classical music.
You may have heard your child’s Waldorf kindergarten teacher mention the importance of rhythm in the unfamiliar context of schedule and routine. When we talk about rhythm in Waldorf education, it is not so different from musical rhythm. We are considering the beat of the child’s day. Is there a routine to which they can return no matter how far out into their imaginative life they go in their play? Do they know what comes next in their day so that they don’t have to take up that imaginative head-space with concern about when they will have lunch, go for a walk, or take a nap?
Why does rhythm matter, and why is it specifically important for the young child?
The philosophy upon which Waldorf education is based tells us that from birth to age seven, the child’s “forces” are primarily dedicated to the development of their physical bodies. This is why more typical academic work is not presented to the children until first grade. The young child learns and grows through play and imitation. Diverting those growth forces away from the physical body, and toward more abstract thinking can have a real impact on their physical stamina and general wellness. When the child is comfortable in a rhythm and routine, they are not forced out of their dreamy imaginative mood and into an awake, thinking mood.
Rhythm is different from a schedule. Though we adults may have an awareness of certain times in our heads (lunch is at noon, nap is at 1:00, etc.) what is important for the child is to experience a consistent order and routine. For example, after we go for a walk we have lunch, and after lunch we look at books and then take a nap. This is not a recommendation for rigidity. Sometimes we might have a doctor’s appointment or an early lunch with a friend. Having the comfort and foundation of a steady rhythm allows for the flexibility to make adjustments when needed.
Having a consistent rhythm at home can help the youngest children with the transition to school. Children who are accustomed to a steady rhythm at home quickly understand what to expect from a school rhythm, and classroom management becomes more straightforward.
What does rhythm look like in school?
Waldorf teachers work to incorporate inbreaths and outbreaths into the rhythm of the classroom. A more free activity, like outdoor play, might be followed by a quieter group activity, such as story time. Early childhood teachers avoid placing activities that are too similar in mood one after another. This gives children time to settle after more outward activities and time to energize after very quiet activities. It also makes sure that the needs of both quieter and more active children are being met. The daily rhythm includes time for play, eating, using the restroom, circle, story, nap, and more. Each teacher has the freedom to consider the children in their particular class, and form a rhythm that feels healthy and beneficial. At the same time, the teacher considers the needs of the community - when is the bathroom available? What time will parents arrive for pick up?
In addition to a daily rhythm, the rhythm of the week is taken into consideration when creating a plan. Each day is associated with a particular color and grain. Teachers make a plan for a painting day, where to play each day, and what day of the week might be a special time for Eurythmy, or baking bread.
Even more broadly, teachers consider the rhythms of the earth. Paying attention to the changing seasons, the rhythms of nature are reflected in festivals, outdoor activities, circles and stories, and room decor.
How do I incorporate rhythm into my home life?
There are many ways rhythm can be incorporated into the home life, and it doesn’t have to happen all at once. Choosing one part of the day and creating a ritual around it is a healthy way to begin to introduce rhythm, and you may learn that you and your child come to deeply value these times. You may also realize that you already have more rhythm in your life than you thought!
Meal times are a wonderful and healthful way to incorporate rhythm into the life of a child. It can be as simple as eating at the same time every day. The experience of rhythm can be enhanced by sharing certain rituals each time. Some ideas include, setting the table a certain way, lighting a candle, saying a verse or prayer before eating, sharing the day’s “roses and thorns,” saying a few words of thanks at the end, and cleaning up together. It is important to be present for one another, so consider implementing a “no devices” rule during meal times and all sitting at the table together. Although we can sometimes feel too busy to sit down for a meal - especially when we have young children - taking those moments together can ease stress and energize us for the next part of the day.
Like meal times, it is highly beneficial for children to have a routine bedtime and bedtime ritual every night. This might include a bath, stories and songs, and a special toy to cuddle.
Finally, as adults, we don’t often consider transition times as part of our daily routine and schedule. We use the restroom when needed, we go out to our car or to the bus stop when it is time to leave. We don’t necessarily need to put these on our to-do list. For the young child, each of these things is part of their daily rhythm, and may take more time and effort to complete in a healthy way. Making sure that ample time is planned for putting on shoes or getting into the car seat is important not only so that we are not in a constant state of panic and running late, but also so there is time for the child to develop their independence. It is tempting to do things for the children because it is faster. But, allowing them to develop these skills themselves gives them a sense of accomplishment, independence, and patience that will serve them well throughout their lives, and will help them to be successful at school.
What’s your rhythm?
There is no singular right rhythm. As teachers, we have to be prepared to make shifts to our class rhythm depending on the group of children before us. One group of children may need to get outside for fresh air and gross motor activities right away. Another group might need time for quiet indoor play to start the day. The same is true for home rhythm. As your child grows and the seasons change, it might be necessary to make shifts to the routine. Sometimes these shifts can even be made in such a way that only the adult is aware any change has happened at all. Like rhythm in music, rhythm for the young child is not about time on a clock. It’s about flow, timing, and support for their growing bodies and minds. Rhythm is about flexibility, not rigidity. It is about feeling secure and free. A good rhythm is relaxed, not forced, and rhythm should feel life-giving, not draining. Each family can learn what rhythm works best for them. Is your family rhythm a waltz or is it jazz? Find one you love, and sing and dance along!
Faith Danneil (Dragonfly Garden Lead Teacher)
Ms. Danneil grew up in Northbrook, Illinois. She enjoys singing, travelling, and spending time with her family and pets.